Title: Practice, Practice, Practice
Author: Skye Thomas
Article:
It may sound silly but the key to self-confidence and building
more self-esteem is through practice. Practice what it is you
want to feel more confident about and eventually, the confidence
will show itself. That makes sense if we're talking about a
skill like playing the piano. With enough practice, you
naturally begin to get good at it and then you feel more
confident. But what about tougher things like public speaking or
meeting new people? How do you practice something that you're
terrified to do in the first place?
If you have extreme self-esteem issues then you might want to
seek professional help, but if you've determined that isn't
necessary, I would suggest that you start out by finding
something that you genuinely love to do. Other than maybe
reading books or doing crossword puzzles over coffee, most
hobbies are a good place to start. Do you love to paint? Do you
love to play a musical instrument? Do you love athletics? Find
something that you love to do or that you think you would love
to do. It's not important what it is other than that it would
bring you into contact with people on a tiny level. Unless
you're living in a cave somewhere, somebody is going to see your
art work, hear your music, or see you running around practicing
your sport. You don't have to pick a big team oriented thing,
just something that fascinates you and will be noticeable. Then
do it. Learn to draw, take music lessons, start playing
basketball in your own driveway, whatever, just start doing
something that you can really enjoy.
Keep doing it until you get really good at it. It doesn't have
to necessarily be your career, but that would be fun for you if
it was. Practice often and with complete joy. Lose yourself in
it. That's part of overcoming self-confidence issues is
forgetting to think about you. Swim laps at the pool until you
forget to care how you look. Get lost in something other than
analyzing yourself. Fall in love with some hobby that takes your
mind away from what others might think of you. Just keep
practicing something you love until you get really good at it.
It's your hobby and your love, so don't make any judgments over
whether or not it's stupid to like doing whatever it is that you
like doing. Just get on with it.
When you're in the moment -- writing music or designing websites
or whatever it is you've chosen, take a moment to reflect on how
far you've come. At some point, you're going to realize that
you're not too bad. At another point, you'll even think, "Hey,
I'm pretty good at this." Someday, you'll look up and notice
that you're an expert or at the very least awesome at what
you've chosen to do. Take that growing self-confidence that's
connected to your hobby and begin channeling it into other
areas. Depending on how much of a self-esteem problem you
started out with it could be a matter of months or years before
you are able to really see yourself in a new light. It's one
thing to say that everyone has their unique and special talent.
It's quite another to find and embrace your own.
Your talent will not be something you hate doing. Sure, I'm
really very good at scrubbing the bathroom. You can conduct a
white glove inspection when I'm done, but that's not my special
talent. That's not my special gift to the world. And it sure as
heck never built an ounce of self-confidence for me. No, you
have to really truly deeply love what it is you're doing or the
talent won't show itself. You have to forget to think and lose
all track of time while zoning out in the flow of creating,
building, stretching, and growing with the hobby. Get to the
point that when you look up and notice what you've done, that
you're impressed with yourself. Practice until you get to that
point where you forget to judge yourself. You could very well
end up making it into your career if there's a market for it. If
there isn't, no harm done. You have got to build a can-do
attitude around your ability to do something well.
Once you've learned something that well, you can begin
stretching beyond your comfort zone and trying other things like
public speaking. Okay so that might not happen right away, but
once you've really mastered something, then you can always
remind yourself that you are capable of success and you are
capable of learning something new. Once you know that you can
practice and learn new things, then the fear of new things isn't
nearly so immobilizing. You can step beyond your fears knowing
that with enough practice you can master almost anything you set
your mind to. At that point, you won't actually have a
self-esteem problem anymore.
The point is that by playing around with something you love
until you are very good at it, you will gain self-esteem and
that is going to make it possible for you to hold your head high
and to bravely step into other more frightening areas of life.
Start out by practicing at something you love until you're good
at it, then move on to the other things that don't sound like
much fun at all. You'll really know deep down that there's
nothing to be afraid of. It all comes down to whether or not you
believe that you are capable of learning something new. That's
all. Self-confident people reassure themselves when walking into
unknown territory by saying, "Well, I'll just have to wing it
until I learn how to do it right. I'm sure I'll figure it out
soon enough." That comes from experiencing the positive effects
of having practiced and learned something new. So go learn
something new -- start with something fun.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
About the author:
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in
inspiring leaps of faith. Her books and articles have inspired
people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the
pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business
clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her
pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her
free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to
http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
